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I need help with my relationship with ______________


If you’re reading this page, you might be feeling dissatisfied with your connection to someone or something, or even with yourself. It’s a stuck feeling, and the most uncomfortable part is that you might not know how to handle the feelings towards the person, event, or even yourself. The crack in the relationship is like a wall, thick or thin, that blocks you from sending your thoughts, expectations, or intentions to the other side. After a while, you may look at your life and see loneliness, self-doubt, anger beginning to diffuse. Loss of motivation to do things, anxiety about upcoming plans, and feeling often on edge are how some people describe their circumstances as their relationship concerns continue to be unresolved.


Some people are born with a more “sensitive” personality, meaning they feel anxious, angry, or sad more easily than others. Others may experience fight or flight when facing certain interactions because of big events in their lives. No matter what kind of situation you’re in, a counselor’s first priority is to understand your uniqueness. Then, a counselor guides you to understand why and how your reactions to stressful situations formed and together explore different tools that suit you and the situation best.

Meanwhile, I’ve found that people with sensitive personalities also have a special strength usually found in their heightened power of perception. This strength is usually powerful and useful and can bring comfort. One of the most important goals of our counseling work is to extend the confidence from this strength and rebuild a balance between the person’s strength and stress. Part of the human experience is to  exist in relationships with someone, some community, some important people - no one can live a life alone and feel fulfilled. However, feeling fullness actually starts with the relationship with oneself.


Consistent counseling in the beginning is critical, as it motivates you to carve out time from a stuck life and stuck emotions. Then, it invites emotions to be seen in the therapy space with the counselor. We have to be reminded that struggles and stifling events in life are temporary, but confidence in knowing one’s strength is a lifelong gift. Counseling is temporary, but you will be the ones who continue using this strength and confidence on your life journey. The healing of relationships begins along the way when you have found more of yourself.

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